i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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