Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
