Me too!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You're like the curious george of whores
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
