1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
is it fun? or sober?
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