I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
