im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
