I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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