mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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