you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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