he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Randomize
