Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
