I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
