Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
