I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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