The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
