i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
