I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
