no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My vagina just recognized that song.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
