i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
