i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
