sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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