I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
