i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
