Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
