Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
