Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
