didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
