I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
