I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dignity is for republicans.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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