90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
