your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
