She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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