one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
