I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
