How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
