Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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