it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
