I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
