xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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