Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
