Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
