I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
