my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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