Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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