in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
