You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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