You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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