girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
