So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
