I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
