Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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