Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
